'I would be upping the stinky food game': High school secretary of 20+ years loves her job until she gets a new office mate, internet provides both helpful and petty solutions

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Jan 13, 2024 10:00 AM EST

We're humans, our species is all about evolution and embracing change. But on the other hand, we also love a routine. Why change something if it ain't broken? Unfortunately, sometimes well-meaning bosses will intervene and change something at work that they think will help, but actually does the opposite. 

This high school secretary loves her job and has loved it for over 20 years. She loves all the kids, parents, and her co-workers. She worked closely with one co-worker she calls Tammy. They have gotten along swimmingly since Tammy started several years ago, but because of a certain change, things have been going downhill fast. You see, OP was out for a month with pneumonia. During this time, her boss moved Tammy into her office to "make things easier." Turns out, however, that Tammy is not quite the people person they all thought she was. Not to mention she needs to do her job without any interruptions. OP turned to Reddit to get suggestions on how to remedy the situation and they came through exactly how you would imagine the internet would come through.

Scroll on to see! Plus, if you think this work situation is bad, check out this one!

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  • 01
    "My new office mate is making me hate the job I've loved for 20 years"
    via Mart Production via Pexels
  • 02
    I have been the main High School secretary in a small (300 students) for over 20 years. I can't put into words what a joy it's been to be in my position. I love my administration, the teachers,
    via u/secreteri
  • 03
    the parents (most of the time lol) but I especially love my students. Even the troubled and naughty ones hold a special place in my heart. I love getting a new 9th grade class each year and always shed a few tears when my seniors leave though many still come back to visit as
    via u/secreteri
  • 04
    adults:) These kids bring me so much joy and I am always happy to come back to school after a break. For the past couple of years "Tammy" has been our bookkeeper and had her own office. Our boss set it up that she would leave her office and cover my breaks for me if she was available.
    via u/secreteri
  • 05
    She really seemed to enjoy this and had no problems. She is really good at running the office and it worked well for all of us. She would also gladly bring her work to my office and cover a whole day for me here or there if I was out sick.
    via u/secreteri
  • 06
    At the beginning of this year...I got really sick. Pneumonia landed my butt in the hospital. Healing was long and I was out for about a month. Boss thought it would be a great idea to create a little cubicle and office space in the back of my office and move Tammy
    via u/secreteri
  • 07
    there before I came back...and to have her stay and work from there going forward. The office has continually become busier with each year. He wanted the back up and she would be right there to cover for my breaks. I thought this
    via u/secreteri
  • 08
    was a great idea. I was looking forward to coming back and working with her. Because the office gets so busy - we did have subs come in and work for me so Tammy wasn't swamped with two jobs to do. I guess two of them drove her up the wall because they couldn't handle the job and
    via u/secreteri
  • 09
    she told me she almost quit until they brought in a retired school secretary that was great. So finally I get to come back to work. I was over the moon. I can't tell you how much I missed my go- workers and those awesome kids. (must have cried 10
    via u/secreteri
  • 10
    times during my illness missing my students - even the naughty ones) Tammy has her area all set up, albeit a ton of stuff, a make-shift wall, stuffed animals on new shelves and a flamingo collection. It's FINE! It's going to be GREAT....I tell myself....
    via u/secreteri
  • 11
    Well...it's just not. She's mean. Passive aggressive. Overly opinionated on how I do my job or my personal beliefs about anything. It first started about a week after my return. Maybe I'm just assuming but I do think it bothered her each time someone would come in and
    via u/secreteri
  • 12
    say "YOU'RE BACK!! WE MISSING YOU SO MUCH!" Lot's of hugs, gifts, cards and tears. I think it just miffed her? That's when the yelling started. Teachers would come see me at the end of the day and we visited and giggled and she starting yelling "SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO COUNT MONEY"....but
    via u/secreteri
  • 13
    only to me. If I ever had a teacher friend stop by for coffee or eat lunch with me during the day she would complain how much she couldn't stand them and they were bothering her. While I really thought these visits were quiet and away from her, I agreed to trying to keep people out of the office as much as I could. I
    via u/secreteri
  • 14
    really wanted to make things work with her. But as the weeks have gone on, while I try and handle the office traffic and let her concentrate on her bookkeeping. She interjects herself into all of the conversations, yells at kids, and voices her disgust if anyone has beliefs
    via u/secreteri
  • 15
    (especially political) other than her own. While she is pretty conservative, our school is more liberal and we really are all accepting of our different students. I cringe when she is snotty to some of our non-binary or trans students. (she has been addressed about this by our boss..and is a little better)
    via u/secreteri
  • 16
    She also seems very irritated to cover for me on my breaks. She is always grumpy and sullen when I return (btw I do not abuse my breaks)She refuses to take any breaks and sighs and says she is too busy.
    via u/secreteri
  • 17
    Now we have started "Alexa wars". She brought in her own Alexa and plays music all day. "Country Queens". It's her machine so I just grit my teeth and realize "This aint my mother's heartbreak...ahhhm gonna drink whiskey to get over mah mannnnnnn...." I've
    via u/secreteri
  • 18
    asked if I can change the genre every once in a while but she gets irritated and says "Matchbox 20 is too obnoxious and I can't stand the screaming" ??? I tried to delicately discuss the situation with my boss.
    via u/secreteri
  • 19
    He says just kill her with kindness and try and make it work for her. He likes having her there as backup though he did say he's also sick of the country queens.
    via u/secreteri
  • 20
    I sat down with her and asked her if she was happy if maybe she wanted to talk to boss and get her own office again. She said she was fine but just hated it when my friends stop by. "I love working in here as long as they stay away." So, my
    via u/secreteri
  • 21
    friends aren't stopping by anymore...but she still is always irritated about one thing or another with me. Tomorrow is Monday and I've never not wanted to go to work until now. I think if I could just figure out her "end game" I could solve this...but
    via u/secreteri
  • 22
    I'm at a loss. Sorry this was long, and yes, it isn't the most horrid of situations. I could just use a few ideas if you are willing to share.
    via u/secreteri
  • 23
    Edit to add - Another thing I do that pisses her off that I just thought of - eating a hardboiled egg in the morning (I've been on a diet since I've been back) She can't stand the smell even if I eat it in the back room. I've moved to low calorie frittatas but those stink too she says. I'm thinking my simple existence just makes her mad.
    via u/secreteri
  • 24
    Top-Championship-530. 1 day ago Talk with your boss again and this time, be more direct. Point out specific instance and also explain the things that she has expressed to you. Talk about how you work well with her but sharing a space is making both of you work suboptimal.
    via u/Top-Championship-530
  • 25
    briomio 1 day ago Also, the nonstop music - ask specifically that she utilize headphones as the music is distracting and irritating. I would indicate that you have trouble hearing phone calls with the nonstop music going on. If she has to wear headphones, I think she would jump at getting her old office back.
    via u/boriomio
  • 26
    GrumpySnarf 23 hr. ago also, it will stop OP's "noise" from disturbing Tammy's counting or whatever. Solves two problems!
    via u/GrumpySnarf
  • 27
    Used-BandiCoochie 1 day ago She needs to move back into the office because she can't handle regular customers entering into the area, she needs her space. This is where you voice of the needs of the person because it benefits both parties, even when one of
    via u/Used-BandiCoochie
  • 28
    them doesn't know what they actually need. Talk to your boss and tell them the old setup was optimal both for. She's stressing you and herself out.
    via u/Used-BandiCoochie
  • 29
    Pleaseleavemealone07 1 day ago She is creating a hostile work environment OP. Use those exact words when you talk to your boss again because they are lawsuit buzzwords that have a lot of weight. Are you part of the union in any way? I'm sorry OP, she sounds awful! For the short term...start leaning into her crazy.
    via u/pleaseleavemealone07
  • 30
    Start learning the words to the songs and (happily) sing them slightly louder than the radio. When people come by to talk, make a big show of apologizing to her directly in front of them by saying something like "oh I'm so sorry I can't talk to you here...it really bothers #dumbblonde over here when anyone talks to me so we should step out to talk".
    via u/pleaseleavemealone07
  • 31
    "Hey #dumbblonde do you mind watching the front while I step out and handle this so we don't bother you?" It will either make her explode in an epic and unignorable way, or
    via u/pleaseleavemealone07
  • 32
    She will be so embarrassed from being called out on her obvious behavior that she will stop when she starts getting ostracized by everyone you have to "step out of the office" to talk to. No matter how you look at it, she is being fucking weird START DOCUMENTING HER BEHAVIOR. Have anyone who witnesses it also document it.
    via u/pleaseleavemealone07
  • 33
    cavia_porcellus1972 1 day ago You changed what you eat because she complained? I would be upping the stinky food game if it were me. Definitely speak to your boss again and tell him it just isn't working out. You each need your space.
    via u/cavia_porcellus1972
  • 34
    earthgarden 1 day ago I feel sorry for you both. This arrangement is not working for you, and you have tried to address it, but nothing will get sorted until Tammy speaks up and expresses how she feels. She needs to go to the boss and clarify this is not working for her either.
    via u/earthgarden
  • 35
    Bookkeeping does require concentration of a particular sort, IDK how or why anybody expects her to do this job with all the noise and hubbub of a school office. She needs her own office back. Sit down with her again and ask her to talk to
    via u/earthgarden
  • 36
    the principal with you about switching things back to the way they were. It truly doesn't sound like anything personal on either of your parts except for Tammy's displaced anger about the situation, she's putting that on you instead of speaking up.
    via u/earthgarden

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